Some winds are mild and gentle while some are forcefully violent. Talking about life's music, some winds make calm and peaceful chimes while some brew hurricanes. It doesn't matter who faces the cyclones and tornadoes--the question is, who doesn't?--but how and for how long, to produce what music.
The beat, the pulse, the tempo and the rhythm... Winds across the terrains of my life definitely produce my own music. And music does not necessarily always sound beautiful to the ear.
Since the very beginning I have attempted to get my creative writings in print. My first book was published by a small publisher in Australia way back in 2006. After the initial print run, the publisher went out of business and got dissolved. My bad luck!
I tried most of the publishers I could find on the internet: in Australia, in the UK, in the US and in India. All were regional publishers. I got left out of South Africa, not by design though. All of them turned my books down citing the only reason that my creative work/s did not fit their publishing programme.
Then I found one in Kathmandu, others rejecting, for the very secretly maintained reason that I had no links to higher powers in the chain: I am neither a well-known politician nor a journalist. A small publisher formed by a bunch of friends worked in it but eventually they got separated and my bad luck returned back one more time!
I did not give up trying: I wrote to most. I sent queries, I wrote proposals. All good lucks but all rejections. No way! It should not have happened but it did.
Was I a bad writer? Were my writings not worth the market? Were they not of good beginnings or of quality? Did they not deserve a chance? Was I, in fact, a writer not worth publishing? Was I just a one-time writer after all, like many internationally best-selling ones, and not worth the salt to write any further, or, any more?
Many unanswered questions that plague and haunt me most of the time.
Then luckily, or unluckily, I got a break. I started self-publishing my works. Three books have already been published this way. Five are on the way.
What? Did I really say FIVE?
YES, and YESSS!!!
But what will they be? What will they contain? What will they look like? Have a guess!
The first one to come next will be a collection of short stories. Any continuations? Probably Rimi will come back if she is ready by the time. Another older story may also be back but with original and unmodified plot as against the modified one that had appeared previously.
The second one to come will be a non-fiction, and by the looks and appearances of it, shall take a very beloved position. This one will be a self-help book.
The third one to come will possibly be another non-fiction. If this turns out to be a fiction then the fourth will be the non-fiction. If the fourth becomes another fiction, then the fifth shall be the non-fiction. These three books shall definitely compete with each other to cross the finish line. The two fictions shall have their own positions but the non-fiction shall once again be a self-help book.
So here is a neat probable line-up (re-shuffling may occur).
*Fiction/Short Stories
*Non-fiction
*Fiction
*Non-fiction
*Fiction
*Fiction
*Non-fiction? Fiction? (Impossible to tell at present.)
So the race is on. Everything depends on the way things go with me now as I work on them. Circumstances being favourable, they will come out one by one, soon enough. However, circumstances acting on the contrary, they may take years, or even not get published at all.
But why so cynical? Are they not being written?
Yes. I am working on all FIVE at the same time. I work on one, then take some rest, then I go to the other. The process continues. The speed is the limiting factor, and it depends on things beyond my control. That is FATE, if realizing it is called cynicism or fatalism, or something else. Bad things happen to most people but at their backs, and so is with me. Things are really not that beautiful from many perspectives.
Worried?
Not a bit more than is necessary, no. (We all worry, and need to, but the degree differs.) Why should I be? It isn't a solution, ever, and doesn't provide one, to life's manifold problems. The realization of things slows me down, that's all.
But to cheer myself up, I think I have been in the past, and still am, something that dies many times but never gives up. I have been dead, yes, yet I have risen to fight the battle. To give up, I have never learnt because it has never been an option in my life. If fighting is a must, then either I need to get eliminated or come out victorious. There is no in-between...
Of course there is! That is why I am alive but not completely living!! If Darwin's natural selection process be applied, then my chances of getting selected to live on are rather grim. (If you happen to find out otherwise, please let me know.)
Disappointed?
Yes.
Frustrated at/with myself?
Yes.
What then to expect?
HOPE. There is no better medicine in the world than this. And DREAM. And wait. With PERSEVERANCE!
Things will be as they will be. Neither you can change their course, nor can I. We sing and waltz like wind chimes, the only difference lies in the tune we make in the end. Or we are like parachute-mounted seeds of dandelion carried by the mercy of the wind. Accept or deny, it makes no difference to the way of things. What matters most is how we encourage the good, and enjoy it.
So long then...
The beat, the pulse, the tempo and the rhythm... Winds across the terrains of my life definitely produce my own music. And music does not necessarily always sound beautiful to the ear.
* * *
Since the very beginning I have attempted to get my creative writings in print. My first book was published by a small publisher in Australia way back in 2006. After the initial print run, the publisher went out of business and got dissolved. My bad luck!
I tried most of the publishers I could find on the internet: in Australia, in the UK, in the US and in India. All were regional publishers. I got left out of South Africa, not by design though. All of them turned my books down citing the only reason that my creative work/s did not fit their publishing programme.
Then I found one in Kathmandu, others rejecting, for the very secretly maintained reason that I had no links to higher powers in the chain: I am neither a well-known politician nor a journalist. A small publisher formed by a bunch of friends worked in it but eventually they got separated and my bad luck returned back one more time!
I did not give up trying: I wrote to most. I sent queries, I wrote proposals. All good lucks but all rejections. No way! It should not have happened but it did.
Was I a bad writer? Were my writings not worth the market? Were they not of good beginnings or of quality? Did they not deserve a chance? Was I, in fact, a writer not worth publishing? Was I just a one-time writer after all, like many internationally best-selling ones, and not worth the salt to write any further, or, any more?
Many unanswered questions that plague and haunt me most of the time.
Then luckily, or unluckily, I got a break. I started self-publishing my works. Three books have already been published this way. Five are on the way.
What? Did I really say FIVE?
YES, and YESSS!!!
But what will they be? What will they contain? What will they look like? Have a guess!
The second one to come will be a non-fiction, and by the looks and appearances of it, shall take a very beloved position. This one will be a self-help book.
The third one to come will possibly be another non-fiction. If this turns out to be a fiction then the fourth will be the non-fiction. If the fourth becomes another fiction, then the fifth shall be the non-fiction. These three books shall definitely compete with each other to cross the finish line. The two fictions shall have their own positions but the non-fiction shall once again be a self-help book.
So here is a neat probable line-up (re-shuffling may occur).
*Fiction/Short Stories
*Non-fiction
*Fiction
*Non-fiction
*Fiction
*Fiction
*Non-fiction? Fiction? (Impossible to tell at present.)
So the race is on. Everything depends on the way things go with me now as I work on them. Circumstances being favourable, they will come out one by one, soon enough. However, circumstances acting on the contrary, they may take years, or even not get published at all.
But why so cynical? Are they not being written?
Yes. I am working on all FIVE at the same time. I work on one, then take some rest, then I go to the other. The process continues. The speed is the limiting factor, and it depends on things beyond my control. That is FATE, if realizing it is called cynicism or fatalism, or something else. Bad things happen to most people but at their backs, and so is with me. Things are really not that beautiful from many perspectives.
Worried?
Not a bit more than is necessary, no. (We all worry, and need to, but the degree differs.) Why should I be? It isn't a solution, ever, and doesn't provide one, to life's manifold problems. The realization of things slows me down, that's all.
But to cheer myself up, I think I have been in the past, and still am, something that dies many times but never gives up. I have been dead, yes, yet I have risen to fight the battle. To give up, I have never learnt because it has never been an option in my life. If fighting is a must, then either I need to get eliminated or come out victorious. There is no in-between...
Of course there is! That is why I am alive but not completely living!! If Darwin's natural selection process be applied, then my chances of getting selected to live on are rather grim. (If you happen to find out otherwise, please let me know.)
Disappointed?
Yes.
Frustrated at/with myself?
Yes.
What then to expect?
HOPE. There is no better medicine in the world than this. And DREAM. And wait. With PERSEVERANCE!
Things will be as they will be. Neither you can change their course, nor can I. We sing and waltz like wind chimes, the only difference lies in the tune we make in the end. Or we are like parachute-mounted seeds of dandelion carried by the mercy of the wind. Accept or deny, it makes no difference to the way of things. What matters most is how we encourage the good, and enjoy it.
So long then...
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